Unsuck Your Life

Are you stuck in a suckhole?

You are probably asking what the f*** is that? Well it is that black void of life where everything seems to – well suck. That place where all your dreams curled up and died because everyone told you they were simply unobtainable. Well I am here to tell you that you don’t have to live in the dark anymore because there is a way to escape and finally live a life you are excited about.

I have spent a lot of time in the dark void that is a sucky life. To others my  life could be the dream, but to me it was a life-draining experience. So much so that I was literally tired all the time. I was so drained and hopeless that I didn’t even know where to begin or even if it was possible at all to change anything. On top of it all – things did get a whole lot worse before they got better. However, things did get better and I wholeheartedly want that for you as well.

How to know you are in a suckhole

So what if you don’t know if you are in a suckhole? Well here are some of the things that I experienced:

  • I prayed that I would get sick, my car would break down, and of course the ol’ faithful – that I would win the lotto already. Anything really – good or bad –  to take the dull out of my day or that would finally make it ok that I called in sick to work or just didn’t adult today.
  • I would start dreading going to work on Friday night after I just got off. Talk about a weekend buzz killer!
  • I would panic so much going to work that I would sit in my car and “talk” myself into it.
  • I realized (and unfortunately obsessed over) the fact that if I died, I would be replaced at work without a second thought.
  • I lived paycheque to paycheque without any hope at all of ever getting out of that routine – unless of course I won the lotto.
  • I didn’t really have anything to look forward too – no vacation in the works as this wasn’t in the budget nor could I afford to take time off for even a staycation.
  • Every single day looked the same – the same routine – the same blah
  • It was a struggle to get any energy to do anything (including changing it all) because this was my life and it SUCKED!  I really couldn’t see a path to escape it.

If you feel anything similar to the thoughts above – I am sorry to tell you this – but you also live in the suckhole!

Now I would love to tell you that at that moment I had the realization that something was wrong and that I jumped up with joy and changed it all and magically poof I had a new great life and all that, but in my case that is not how it worked. It took time as I really didn’t have any idea on how to unsuck my life.

Truth be told – I wallowed in that suckhole like a champ! (this I do not recommend – however, you can do some serious Netflix binge watching in here!)

The Mythical Creature

The most frustrating thing about all that time was I had looked for answers but always hit a wall. Everyone was telling me I had to find my passion. If I could just figure out what that was I would be all set. Now, if you are like me, this thing called “Passion” is a sneaky little f**ker and everyone puts it out there like it is the easiest thing to find. For me, it was like a unicorn – some mythical creature in a fantasy world. At least that is what two years of looking for this creature felt like.

Then all of a sudden I found the mystical creature by finally finding a way to actually open my eyes. So how can you find a way to open your own? Well that is what you are here for isn’t it:

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Step One: Figure out why your life sucks

Yes it sounds really simple, but when you are in the midst of a sucky life you don’t always realize what about it is doing the sucking.

Sometimes you feel that it is absolutely everything that sucks because that feeling starts to take over and engulfs even the good in your life.

To really determine what it is you have to take the time to analyse everything in your life (without the suck vision). Dig deep into your thoughts and what you are thinking every day like I went through above. Is it your career, the city, your house, the clutter, your friends,  your family, your relationship, your fiances? What is the good and bad of each area? And make sure you don’t stop there – you also have to really think about what is missing from your life. It could be any of the areas we just went through or it could be something you have always wanted to do, a hobby you gave up, a friend you lost touch with – really anything that you miss in your life.

If you are still having trouble determining where you feel your life is going wrong, you can try to do this quick exercise.

  • What is the one thing that makes you feel the most uncomfortable.
  • Who is the one person (or list of people) who make you feel the worst about yourself.
  • Where is the one place that you hate being.
  • When do you feel exceptionally miserable? – what is happening, who are you with, what is around you?
  • If you have a crutch when you are upset/angry, etc. – ie. smoking, drinking, shopping, eating, etc. – when are these things at their worst – what is happening?
  • What causes you to lose sleep?

Now imagine all of these things happening at the exact same time. Probably a highly unpleasant experience!

Once you have that in mind – do any parts of this resemble your current life? Are any of these experiences happening more often than you would like?

Step Two: Find your perfect unsucked life

Now we want to imagine the opposite. This exercise is at least a really fun one!

  • Ask yourself – if someone would pay you to do whatever it is you want – what would that job be?
  • Who would you be spending your time with? Who can you just not imagine your life without?
  • What would your “job” entail? What kinds of tasks would you be doing?
  • Where would you live?
  • Would you travel or set down roots?
  • What would a typical day look like from morning to night?
  • What are you really good at?
  • What always gets you in the “flow” (the flow is where you lose track of time because you are so engrossed in your project)
  • Where do you feel energized? Is it at parties or by yourself reading your favourite book?

Ok so we have all the different aspects down and I want you to really visualize your life exactly like this perfect version of it. Fully engross yourself in this vision – what do you see, feel, smell, hear? This is really important as this is what finally puts some light into that darkness of the suckhole you are in. It is how you can finally see that mystical passion creature everyone tells you about. Because guess what – you just found it!

Step Three: Plan to get there

Now just because you have finally found the passion that you so desperately needed to find (I’ve been looking for years) you are still in need of a path to get there. You have to take those goals and figure out how to get from your current life to that perfect version.

This part can be fun if you let it (although still scary at times), but it can also be the part where you snuff out the light again. Because this is the part where you have another demon to fight and that demon is the one who killed the dreams in the first place. The one that tells you that you can’t do it. The one that tells you its not realistic and on and on and on.

I will be writing more about defeating that demon in my next post as well as going into how to create a path to your dreams – but for now I leave you with this. The most powerful and successful people in the world are the ones who thought outside the box. They are the ones who followed their dreams no matter how much others said it couldn’t be done. There is nothing exceptionally special about these people – not more than you or I – the only difference is they didn’t let anyone tell them they couldn’t. And that right there is the key.

 

If you are like I was and totally unsure of what exactly it is about your life that sucks? But knowing it does – it is time to really stop and look at your life. However you can’t just get stuck in the suckhole! First you have to figure out what it is that is causing all these sucky feelings, but don’t stop there – you also have to figure out what would the perfect life look like to you because without that – you wouldn’t have something that makes changing worth it. Finally it is time to plan it all out because a dream is just a dream until you go after it.